So, I'm really confused by the whole "gender neutral" thing in the news lately....a model that walks both male and female runways (good for her!/him!/whatever!)...a family that won't tell people whether their newest child is a boy or a girl (so.dumb)
I guess I just don't understand what kind of statement they are trying to make...boys have penises and girl have vaginas and boobs...there's just no getting around that...you can't take someone's gender away from them, it's kind of set in stone (unless you get surgery, but whatever)
Sounds to me like people are just trying to create a problem and drama where there is none...there's just no getting around the fact that the majority of boys are naturally drawn to cars and trucks and building things and rough play...and the majority of girls are naturally drawn to arts & crafts and nurturing their dolls
I get that some parents may be adamant that their boys don't ever touch a doll or wear the color pink in any way shape or form and that their girls wear only frilly dresses and never climb a tree...but you know what? It's kind of that parent's prerogative...
Now, I have 2 boys...and they are all boy...rough and tumble and loud...but when I was exclusively breastfeeding Chunkamunk, miniG would pretend to breastfeed his stuffed monkey...did I discourage him from that? Did I sit him down for an entire conversation on why only girls can do that? Nope...They may not have dolls, but they have stuffed animals...and there's a play kitchen in the play room...
Do they have a trunk full of dress up clothes? Nope...Do they have a collections of Barbie dolls? Nope...Do I get all upset if they play with those things at my sister's house? Nope
Am I mom of the year? Nope..but really, it's no one's business
I will tell you one thing though...I will raise my boys to be gentlemen...they will be respectful of women, they will open doors and let ladies go first...
Now, to those people out there who are all upset to be defined by their gender...please, just get over it and enjoy your life...
2 comments:
IMO, it's not about being upset by gender, but being boxed in by it. By placing arbitrary rules on what each gender can do. This is more prevalent with adults than kids. Many parents feel the way you do, it's ok for their child to play with toys that are generally thought of for the other gender. It's not socially accepted for these roles to be at all flexible when we are adults though. Think about it, whenever you hear people talking about a guy enjoying shopping, cooking, being the stay at home parent, or being sensitive or expressing his emotions, he's seen as weak, jokes are made that he's a "woman" and often times people assume he is gay. When a woman takes on more physical tasks, doesn't like shopping for shoes, doesn't wear make up, it's assumed she's gay and jokes are made that she's "butch".
You talk about making sure your boys are respectful to girls, which is great, but what about making sure they are in touch with their feminine side too? What about making sure they see everyone as equals? For me, that's what this is about, being in touch with ALL of ourselves,the masculine and feminine and not expecting something as complex as a human person to fit into a rigid, narrow, confining definition that society places on us at birth based solely on what's between our legs. Removing the association that to show female characteristics makes a man weak and to show masculine traits as a woman makes her cold and mean.
Also, the idea that we NEED to know what someone's gender is blows my mind. Yes, it's an important part of who we are, but it's not ALL we are. If you notice, people assume things about someone as soon as they see man or woman. Why does it matter? Why does it matter that this model walked both runways? She's a beautiful HUMAN being, can't we just appreciate that. Why does it matter that this family isn't revealing their child's gender just yet? Is it really anyone's business? It's a cute, healthy, happy baby...what else is more important?
People aren't trying to deny that anyone has a vagina, breasts or penises. What they are trying to do, is make it clear that there shouldn't be a huge value placed on those physical attributes. That these physiological parts of us don't define who we are. There is a lot of lip service paid to, "girls can do anything" "boys can be into art" etc but when you actually try to explore these other sides, you see that society can't handle men and women blurring the lines. They aren't creating a problem at all, it exists and is rampant in our society and they are addressing it.
I don't agree...at all, I don't see the problem..or rather the problem lies with whoever in "society" is making it an issue...I think "society" is a very small number of small minded yet vocal people...or really the "society" monster created in our own minds...I have yet to meet a single member of this evil "society"...the vast majority of everyone else, really doesn't care...could be because I live in the boonies though...
You be who you want to be but you have to be strong enough to either take whatever guff you get and address it as it comes, or strong enough to just let it go and live your life the way you want...
I don't get why the NEED to know someone's gender blows your mind...what? I would just like to know the proper pronoun to use when referencing someone,he or she...what's next a neutral pronoun that doesn't judge? Come on! Or no more names because some people feel defined by their name?
I just don't see how not telling people whether your child is a boy or a girl is helping that child in any way...if it's a girl and they don't want her to feel boxed in...fine..but she's going to feel like even more of an outcast by being this androgynous thing rather than a strong woman...
No matter how you try to shape "society" someone somewhere is going to feel left out and judged...the feminist movement had made me feel ashamed to tell people I'm a jobless stay at home mom...I felt like I would be judged because I'm not doing my part to further the movement that men and women are equals blabbity blah! But, rather than whining to the world about how "society" needs to change its thinking in order for me to feel better about myself, I sucked it up and said Screw you if you think low of me for staying home and raising my children..I'm being who I want to be and doing what I want to do and you can't make me feel bad about it..
Yes, there are bullies out there that try to beat people down because they don't fit the mold they think they should, but bullies only have the power we allow them to have...if their opinions no longer matter to us, they no longer hold power over us...
If it's a mold you want to break, then go out there and break it on your own and stop whining about how "society" is holding you back.
Sorry, I'm not trying to be argumentative!
Post a Comment